Not a Cradle Catholic Vol. 4


Thanks for coming back for the final installment of Not a Cradle Catholic, where it's all about those of us who are NOT cradle Catholics. Why did we join up? What have we learned? Why is our perspective unique? Thanks for following along. Whatever your background, maybe there's something you can learn from us.

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Rakhi is a Catholic wife and mother who works outside the home part-time while trying to keep up with her husband, two (soon to be three) young children, and cat full-time. She is a convert from Hinduism and spent many years working in young adult and campus ministry. Rakhi’s blog and artwork can be found at rakhimccormick.com, where her mission is to share the love of Christ with the world. You can also find her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.


How long have you been a Catholic?

 This Easter will be my 20th anniversary of coming into the Church.

What were you before?

 I was raised Hindu, but with all the activities of high school and college, was not exactly practicing the faith at the time I began seeking conversion.

What was your main motivation for entering the Catholic Church?

 The very basic answer is that I was invited. The longer answer is that I was seeking answers to some deeper questions after a rather embarrassing stint with alcohol poisoning: what was God's purpose for my life, who was Jesus and why would someone pray for me. I also had (and still have) a woundedness that seeks belonging - I never felt like I fit anywhere, and was desperately looking for somewhere to belong. At the end of the day, what led me to enter the Church was the invitation and the Eucharist.

Which Church teachings were easy to accept and which were stumbling blocks?

 Most of the moral teachings of the Church were simple to understand and accept for me. Being raised Hindu, I had most of the same basic principles of morality instilled in me already. Marriage is forever, sex is for marriage, etc. I will say that as I went through my college years, the teachings around homosexuality began to become difficult to reconcile. In the end, I think it wasn't so much the teachings themselves, but the way in which they were expressed. So often there was so little love in the tone of those who spoke out against homosexuality or homosexual persons. I still have some of those problems today, though I have no problem accepting the Church's teaching.

Is there anything you miss from your pre-Catholic days?

 Perhaps because I did not convert from a Protestant background, I cannot truly think of one thing that I miss.

Is there anything you really do NOT miss?

 Instead of thinking of it as something I don't miss, I can say that one thing I am so thankful for in being Catholic is always having a home to go to, no matter where I am. I know that if I find a Catholic church anywhere in the world, Jesus is waiting for me in the tabernacle. I know that the Mass will relatively be the same. That ability to feel at home anywhere is such a wonderful feeling.

In what ways (if any) has your relationship with Jesus changed since becoming Catholic?

 Well, I have a relationship with Jesus, where I didn't before.

What do you think Catholics can learn from our protestant brothers and sisters?

 While I didn't come from a Protestant background, I do think that the one frustration I have had in being Catholic is the resistance so many have to go out of their comfort zone . . . myself included many days. I wish we lived our lives more completely in mission mode. This is the beauty that Pope Francis is bringing to us, I think. He is reminding us that it isn't all about the rules and the internal workings of the Church, that the Church isn't a club we belong to, but a vehicle to bring people into relationship with Jesus no matter what "level" they are at in the present. I wish as a whole (while there are so many in the Church who do this well), people saw us as a place to go in the midst of their pain and their failures.

Biggest misconception non-Catholics have about Catholics?

 I think there are several that I run across. One is of course that we worship Mary and the Saints (when in fact we venerate and ask their intercession, but worship remains for God alone). Another big misconception, and I think our focus on the rules is a reason behind it, is that we believe we earn our way to heaven through our good works - that we are works based not grace based.

Favorite saint and saint quote?

 Oh...I hate choosing favorites, especially the Saints! If I HAD to pick one, those who read my blog will know that Blessed Teresa of Calcutta is my home girl. My birthday is her feast day, she worked with my people, and we just have a special bond that I cannot quite explain.

My favorite quote of hers is as hard as picking a favorite saint! As I am typing this, I am drawn to

  "Do ordinary things with extraordinary love." 

//

JoAnna has been a Catholic working mother for over 10 years. She and her husband have five children here on earth – ages 10, 7, 5, 3, and 1 – plus three saints in heaven. She's worked full-time during all of her pregnancies, and returned to work within 6-8 weeks of each birth, so she is intimately familiar with the joys and challenges of this hectic lifestyle. Find her blogging at The Catholic Working Mother.


How long have you been a Catholic?

Since May 29, 2003 (12 years)

What were you before?

ELCA Lutheran (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America)

What was your main motivation for entering the Catholic Church?

My husband become convinced of the truth of Catholicism and told me he wanted to convert. I was adamantly against it but decided to go through RCIA with him just to learn more.

Which Church teachings were easy to accept and which were stumbling blocks?

The biggest issues were sola scriptura and papal authority. Once I resolved those, everything else fell into place.

 Is there anything you miss from your pre-Catholic days?

I miss the fellowship with my family (my conversion has caused some awkwardness and distance), and being able to go to weddings without worrying if they are presumptively valid or invalid.

Is there anything you really do NOT miss?

Belonging to a church that changes teachings according to cultural popularity as opposed to Truth

 In what ways (if any) has your relationship with Jesus changed since becoming Catholic?

I definitely have a much closer relationship with Christ since I joined His Church. The Eucharist is amazing, and so is Reconciliation.

 What do you think Catholics can learn from our protestant brothers and sisters?

I think some other denominations do an excellent job of fostering a true community in their individual churches, and the Catholic Church would do well to emulate that.

Biggest misconception non-Catholics have about Catholics?

That we worship the Pope and/or Mary.



Favorite saint and saint quote?

"The secret of happiness is to live moment by moment and to thank God for what He is sending us every day in His goodness." - St. Gianna Beretta Molla

 //
Allison a Catholic convert, wife to Chris, and momma to three adorable little ginger girls. She is a semi-SAHM with her own business making custom rosaries (Rosaries by Allison). She is a coffee addict, ITP patient, lover of naps, bookworm when she has time, occasional Netflix binger, chocolate nibbler, and skilled crock-potter. She is a veteran champion Highland dancer and a former fastpitch softball catcher. Hibernophile. And sometimes sarcastic. Find her blogging at The Coffee Catholic.


How long have you been a Catholic?

Since Easter 2013

What were you before?

Protestant…sort of an evangelical/non-denom with Southern Baptist roots. And I was baptized Presbyterian as a baby.

What was your main motivation for entering the Catholic Church?

TRUTH! And reverence. History. Completeness. Beauty.

Which Church teachings were easy to accept and which were stumbling blocks?

I honestly can’t think of anything that was a stumbling block. I was ready to jump fully in, because I was so tired of wondering why there are so many different Protestant denominations.

Is there anything you miss from your pre-Catholic days?

The passionate people who love Jesus and are excited to serve Him.

Is there anything you really do NOT miss?

Irreverence. Catholic-bashing. The worship “band”. Forced participation.

In what ways (if any) has your relationship with Jesus changed since becoming Catholic?

Coupled with my diagnosis of ITP in August 2013, I have relied a lot more on Him to help me through situations, especially regarding my health. There is nothing I can do, so I have to trust in His plan for my life every day. I can also dive deeper into His Passion and understand it more now that I’m Catholic (and an ITP patient). Having a structured Liturgical year helps me to appreciate the entire life of Jesus.

What do you think Catholics can learn from our protestant brothers and sisters?

Love for the Bible. Emphasis on a relationship with Christ, not just “membership.”

Biggest misconception non-Catholics have about Catholics?

“They worship Mary and idols” “They’re not actually Christians”

Favorite saint and saint quote?

“Thou hast made us for Thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee.” 
-St. Augustine

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Shannon Evans is a Protestant missionary turned Catholic convert who lived to tell the tale.  An adoptive and biological mom of two boys, she enjoys hosing mud off children, scrubbing sticky furniture, and rushing to the ER to have nails extracted from small intestines.  You can find her blogging at We, A Great Parade or on Instagram


How long have you been a Catholic?

I joined the church Easter 2014, along with my husband.

What were you before?

 I was raised Baptist, but for the decade before converting I was a nondenominational charismatic Protestant.  My husband and I were actually overseas missionaries for almost 2 years.

What was your main motivation for entering the Catholic Church?

For me it was the compilation of so many different attractions: the tie to the historical church, the unity of theology (different than the many different views within Protestantism), the social teachings of the church, theology of the body/sexuality, theology of suffering, salvation not being a "one time" thing, and on and on.  So many different things!  It was also significant that my husband and I were making this huge spiritual decision together that was so different than everything we knew.  It was a really sweet, unifying thing for us.  We didn't even have any Catholic friends at the time!

Which Church teachings were easy to accept and which were stumbling blocks?

I immediately loved the teaching on sexuality, contraception, homosexuality, etc.  I couldn't believe how rich and deep the theology behind it was, and it was the first time I felt anyone had ever offered a holisitc lens through which to see our bodies.  The requirements of mass and the Sacraments were easy to accept, as well as the other things I mentioned above.

The representation of Catholics who are prone to overemphasize Mary and under-emphasize Jesus was a put-off to me initially, but was really quickly put out of my mind when I read the Catechism of the Catholic Church and talked to/read other Catholics who agreed this was a problem.  Some of the doctrine regarding Mary (perpetual virginity, assumption) was a challenge because it is "extra" from what is written in the Bible and I was always taught that the Bible has the final say.  In the end I felt comfortable because of early historical writings that seemed to confirm that they were long-held beliefs.  And maybe this sounds terrible, but I kind of figured that if I get to heaven and discover that some of it was a little "off", Jesus wouldn't mind anyway.

Is there anything you miss from your pre-Catholic days?

 I miss feeling like I fully belong in a religious circle.  As it is now, I still connect deeply to Protestant vernacular and much of the Catholic culture still feels foreign to me.  And I wonder if it always will.  But at the same time I can no longer feel truly connected to the Protestant circle either because my theology is Catholic now, so slightly different in some ways- especially from the nondenominational circle I came from.

Is there anything you really do NOT miss?

 I don't miss the pressure to lead people in "the sinner's prayer", but again that's indicative of my personal experience and not every Protestant denomination.  I don't miss the emphasis on praying for healing that prevails in the charismatic circles.  Not that I don't still pray for healing! I do.  But I appreciate that Catholicism understands that God works powerfully through suffering too.  I never used to hear much at all about that.

In what ways (if any) has your relationship with Jesus changed since becoming Catholic?

 It has become more about Him and less about me.  In the past, I felt a lot of pressure to do certain things (evangelize, pray for the sick or injured, spend a certain amount of time in prayer every day, fast, "feel" an encounter with God in worship settings, etc) so it felt like our relationship was all my responsibility.  I still believe in those things but for me they are much more Christ-led rather than self-led now.

What do you think Catholics can learn from our protestant brothers and sisters?

 There is a lot to learn about having a personal relationship with Jesus, rather than it being only something that we do as a group.  Many Catholics aren't comfortable forming their own words in prayer out loud, especially before a group.  We can learn from Protestants there.  We can also take their example of evangelism, doing it in a way that feels natural and personal to us.

Biggest misconception non-Catholics have about Catholics?

 In my experience the biggest misconception is that we worship Mary.  I'm happy to say that once I scratched the surface of Catholicism, I immediately found that was false.

Favorite saint and saint quote?

 St. Therese of Lisieux is my patron saint, but I have a lot of favorites.  One quote of hers that I like is:

 "Our Lord does not look so much at the greatness of our actions, not even at their difficulty, but at the love with which we do them."

//

keep in touch!

   

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Not a Cradle Catholic Vol. 3


Thanks for coming back for another installment of Not a Cradle Catholic, where it's all about those of us who did NOT grow up in the Catholic Church. Why did we join up? What have we learned? Why is our perspective unique? I hope you'll follow along. Whatever your background, maybe there's something you can learn from us.

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Becky blogs at Vita Dulcis where she writes about food, faith, and family. She is married to her college sweetheart and has a toddler plus a baby on the way. Besides being a total foodie and a native Texan, this Catholic convert loves iced mochas, youth ministry, road trips, and decorating cookies. Find her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram.


How long have you been a Catholic? 

I have been an official Catholic for 7 years - praise God!

What were you before? 

I was raised in the Lutheran faith. (WELS)

What was your main motivation for entering the Catholic Church? 

There were SO many factors along the way, but I'd say my main motivation was the Eucharist. Once I believed that it was the true body, blood, soul, and divinity of Christ, I couldn't turn back.

Which Church teachings were easy to accept and which were stumbling blocks? 

Luckily the Lutheran liturgy was very similar to Catholic liturgy, so it was easy for me to catch on to the mass. It was also easy for me to come to a full understanding of the Eucharist because my Lutheran faith taught the real presence, just in a different sense. Some of the hardest parts to accept (at first) were the papacy and the teachings about Mary, mainly because they were totally foreign to me. But after studying and understanding WHY the Church believes these things, it made complete sense and now they are some of my favorite beliefs!

Is there anything you miss from your pre-Catholic days? 

I definitely miss the huge emphasis on Scripture and am so glad that I was raised with a firm foundation in God's word. Even though I'm no longer a Sola-Scriptura believer, I loved how important the Bible was viewed not only at church and Bible study, but also in your personal life and study.

Is there anything you really do NOT miss? 

In my former church, we only had the Holy Communion part of the liturgy twice a month. So as a Catholic, I feel so blessed to be able to receive the Eucharist at every single mass! Also, I definitely don't miss celebrating Reformation Day. Though it didn't seem strange at the time, now it really makes me sad that every year on October 31st, Lutherans celebrate Luther's nailing of the 95 Theses and his work to "reform" the Church. I just don't understand why splitting the Church is a cause for celebration, so now I pray in a special way on that day for unity in the Church rather than separation. 

In what ways (if any) has your relationship with Jesus changed since becoming Catholic? 

I'd say that while my faith in Christ as a Lutheran was pretty strong, it has only grown deeper and stronger as a Catholic. Not only my knowledge of Christ through my continued study and learning of the faith, but also my relationship with Him personally. I know that I keep mentioning the Eucharist (because lets be real - it's awesome) but it is so beautiful being able to truly receive Jesus Christ in that close and physical way. I'd say you can't get much closer to Christ than that!

What do you think Catholics can learn from our protestant brothers and sisters? 

I know that Catholics get a bad rap about their Scripture skills, but I do think that Protestants set a great example in their knowledge and familiarization with the Bible. It always makes me sad when I meet a Catholic who doesn't even halfway know the books of the Bible, the main stories, or even that the Bible is originally our book! 

Biggest misconception non-Catholics have about Catholics? 

There are several that I can think of, but I think the main aspect boils down to thinking that Catholics place too much emphasis on Mary and the Saints and are accused of worshiping them. There is a huge misunderstanding about the Communion of Saints and the view that Catholics unnecessarily circumvent God when asking the Saints to intercede for us. It's definitely a misconception that I used to have, but now it all makes sense after actually learning the Church's teachings about the subject.

Favorite saint and saint quote? 

There are too many awesome saints to choose from! What a great problem to have. But I'll pick St. Clare of Assisi, who is my patron. I really relate to her story and conversion to radically follow Christ. I strive to have a brave faith like hers. 

Same with the quotes, I could go on and on, but two that I seem to repeat more than others are "Pray, hope, and don't worry." by the wonderful Padre Pio (such simple and powerful advice!) and

 "There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate the Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be." 
-Ven. Fulton Sheen. 

//

Ruth Anne is wife to Jared and mama to four (6, 5, 3, almost 1) with a baby due early next year. She currently lives in Southern New England, where she is essentially a native and Jared is a transplant. She's just begun her homeschool journey and she loves herself some coffee, reading and quiet. She blogs about daily happenings and what not at Holloway Family North. Find her on Facebook and Instagram


How long have you been a Catholic?

I officially joined the church at Easter of 2013, so about two and half years.

What were you before?

Immediately before becoming Catholic we were part of a church called the Charismatic Episcopal Church, which is a liturgical anglican-esque type denomination. Before that (growing up) I was in a non-denominational Protestant church.

What was your main motivation for entering the Catholic Church?

A little hard to say because in a nutshell it felt a lot like desperation. We had pretty much stopped attending the other church, for many reasons. But in the fall of 2012 I started feeling the huge need to join a church. I knew I didn't want another non-Catholic liturgical church and any other Protestant church was WAY out of the question. So for me, the only option left was the Catholic church. I also knew I didn't want to just attend a church... or just "be Catholic" and not actually practice. 

I unintentionally stumbled across a few Catholic mom-bloggers who were really showing that it was possible to be Catholic, not just in name but in daily life. And that's when I called up the local parish and asked what I needed to do. Fortunately they were open to taking us very, VERY late into the RCIA class - it was December and the class had started in September. So we went from there.

Which Church teachings were easy to accept and which were stumbling blocks?

Easy - Honestly, by the time I was going through RCIA, I was ready to accept most things as they were presented. I've been (lovingly) accused of blindly following everything that was taught without thinking it through. To which I counter, yes, I do accept that the church teaches "XYZ", but I'd like to think that I process and think through things pretty quickly. The easiest one was probably the teachings on the Theology of the Body, it just made so. much. sense. :)

Harder - A few of the Marian teachings (Perpetual Virginity and Immaculate Conception). I've made my peace with them, but many in my family (Catholic and non) like to debate them (I don't do debates), so I have a hard time when they start getting worked up about them. 

Is there anything you miss from your pre-Catholic days?

*Sometimes* I miss the spontaneous prayer that happens during any given service. What I mean by that is NOT having an open time of prayer where anyone can pray and pray and pray (and keep on praying) for long amounts of time. But I saw a beautiful example of this when I attended a different parish recently. I think it was right after Prayers of the People where you state your intentions they let people say their intentions out loud which turned into quick little prayers for so-and-so's healing, etc. It only lasted a few minutes and it was a small parish, but it felt like such a unifying thing. 

Is there anything you really do NOT miss?

Most of it? My understanding of the fullness of Christianity since coming into the Catholic church has increased so much that when I look back and see whats missing from the previous churches I really don't feel drawn to them and therefore don't miss pretty much most of it. (Does that make sense?)

In what ways (if any) has your relationship with Jesus changed since becoming Catholic?

I don't know that my relationship has changed dramatically. I was a Christian before becoming Catholic and that didn't change. I'd say I probably have a more full relationship now than I did before. I also feel that there are more ways to work on that relationship since being Catholic, for example earlier this summer I participated in an icon class, there is so much meditation and prayer which goes into that process that you can't help but develop a relationship. 

What do you think Catholics can learn from our protestant brothers and sisters?

Being missionaries. I come from a family of missionaries (my grandparents and a few aunts, uncles and cousins). And I think that's one thing you don't see so much of in the Catholic church: the lay missionaries.

Biggest misconception non-Catholics have about Catholics?

That Catholics aren't Christians. Could there be some Catholics who just "go through the motions" and aren't really Christians? Yes of course. But.... I think the same could be said about any Christian group/church.

Favorite saint and saint quote?

Don't know if she's my all time favorite, but I have a really hard time picking just one...Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, and this quote:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

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Amy is a former atheist and forensic psychologist, turned Catholic, homeschooling, stay-at-home mom. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband and three daughters. She is a book nerd, a wanna-be chef, and a sometimes runner. She blogs at Motherhood and Miscellany.


How long have you been a Catholic?

 I've been Catholic for one and a half years. I entered the Church at the Easter Vigil in 2014.

What were you before?

 Before I became Catholic I was an atheist.

What was your main motivation for entering the Catholic Church?

 I had spent almost a decade not believing in God, and then I had my first miscarriage. When I began to realize what was happening, I started to pray. It was only one word, repeated over and over, "Please, please," but after that, I realized I could no longer call myself an atheist. Then my husband started having some health problems, and he told me he wanted to go back to church. He was raised Catholic, so it made sense for him to want to go to a Catholic church, and I decided to join him. I began reading a lot about Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular, and after a few months, I began to feel a strong pull to the Eucharist. That's when I decided to contact our RCIA director and become Catholic.

Which Church teachings were easy to accept and which were stumbling blocks?

 I didn't have a strong religious background, so when I read Rome Sweet Home, by Scott Hahn, pretty much all of the Catholic teachings were quite easy for me to accept. It all just made so much sense once I learned what the Church actually teaches (as opposed to what I vaguely though the Church taught).

The one thing that was a bit difficult to overcome was the Church's stance on gay marriage. I have gay friends. My oldest daughter was a flower girl in their marriage ceremony. I was always very strongly in the "live and let live" camp. Once I learned about why the Church takes the position it does, I understood, but it was still a bit hard to reconcile this teaching with my love of my friends for a while.

Is there anything you miss from your pre-Catholic days?

 I don't miss anything from my pre-Catholic days. Except maybe sleeping in on Sundays.

Is there anything you really do NOT miss?

 I don't miss the feeling of contempt for religion that I used to have. And I don't miss the lack of belief in anything other than this body on earth for a few short years and then turning to dust and nothing more.

In what ways (if any) has your relationship with Jesus changed since becoming Catholic?
My relationship with Jesus has changed drastically! For one thing, I actually have a relationship with Him now! But even more than that, I have some understanding now of the depth of His love and mercy for me and I know that I can turn to Him in every moment. And I get to receive Him in Holy Communion at least one a week, which is just incredible.

What do you think Catholics can learn from our protestant brothers and sisters?

 I'm not really sure about this. I was only very vaguely a protestant Christian as a child, so I don't feel like I know enough about protestant faiths to be able to answer this one very well.

Biggest misconception non-Catholics have about Catholics?

 I think the idea that we worship things other than God, like Mary, the Pope, the saints, and various sacramentals. This seems to be such a common misunderstanding!

Favorite saint and saint quote?
My favorite saints are St. Rita and St. Philomena. My favorite saint quote is from St. Augustine, because it captures my experience of coming to Christianity.

"Our hearts were made for You, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in You." 

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stay tuned for more stories, and as always, keep in touch!

   

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// C O N V E R S I O N p t 4 //

This is the 4th and final installment of the story of how I became Catholic. 
If you missed any of the previous posts, go and get yourself caught up.  



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I became Catholic 5 years ago, but my conversion is still happening.

Sometimes I feel like I'm getting the hang of this Catholic thing. I know my holy days of obligation, I'm pretty good at remembering not to eat meat on Fridays.  Alex and I even share a weekly holy hour. But there are still times when some new revelation brings me to my knees in awe-filled thanksgiving, and I feel like a newbie all over again.

One of those moments was when I got my first glimpse into the heart of Mary.

When Alex and I had been married a year we decided it was time to expand our family. Being the relatively young and healthy people that we are the thought never crossed my mind that we might not be able to conceive.  And yet month after month went by without any positive pregnancy tests. Finally, after 6 months, just when I was beginning to consider seeking medical advice, we became pregnant!

I had known only a couple people who had miscarried before, but it was enough to make me want to wait a while to announce our news. 10 weeks pregnant, and on Easter Sunday we told our families that we were expecting, only to have to tell them the very next week that we had lost the baby.

Miscarriage is a lonely type of grief. You have lost something that no one ever saw, and that hardly anyone even knew about. And yet it is a loss so profound that it grabs at your core, making it impossible to see life and joy anywhere else. The physical pain (which no one tells you about) left me totally drained for an entire weekend. But that was nothing compared to the anguish that laid waste to my heart.

One week after I miscarried we were sitting in church. It was Mother's Day.  I had never in all my life wanted to crawl into a hole more than on that day. Father gave a blessing for all the mothers and I could feel my face growing red as I tried to blink back tears. Mass ended and people were gathering themselves up to leave, and a dear friend who knew what we were going through glanced down our pew, made eye contact with me, and mouthed the words "happy Mother's Day." She herself had been through a miscarriage years before, and knew what I was feeling. Unless you've been through it, you have no idea. Among many words of comfort she said "look to Mary, she knows what you are feeling."

All of a sudden I had something in common with Mary, who watched her own Son suffer and die a most cruel death.  A mother's loss- we shared that. I had never prayed to Mary before, I still didn't know how I felt about that, but I simply looked to her and said "I am in pain." And I understood, if only a little, the sword that pierced her own heart.


The thing protestants misunderstand most about Mary is that they think she takes the place of Jesus.  But that simply is not true. Everything Mary does points to Jesus and encourages us to "do whatever He tells you" (John 2:5) And as I looked to her and shared my pain with her I was ultimately seeing Jesus, the great Physician, healing the wasteland of my heart and making it a place where joy could grow again.

I recently told someone who has known me for a very long time that I really love being Catholic.  She was surprised to hear that. I guess that means I'm not telling people what I love about being Catholic enough.

I love the smell of incense, and seeing the smoke from it rising up to the ceiling of the church, just as our prayers rise to the heavens to God's own ears.

I love Good Friday, the silent procession, and how the priest, before doing anything else, falls prostrate, completely flat on his face before the altar.

I love going to confession.  Saying your sins out loud is not fun, but hearing yourself say them makes you never want to do them again. And hearing, actually hearing the words, "all your sins are forgiven" is possibly the most beautiful and humbling sound in all the world.

I love Latin, and hearing the liturgy spoken the way it has been spoken for 2000 years.

I love the Easter Vigil. Everything about it is holy and glorious, from the fire outside the church, to hearing my husband sing the Exultet, to the outbreak of bells ringing as the altar is adorned with flowers.


I love going to mass in a different country. I can't understand a word being said but I know exactly what they're saying and what's going on.

I love going into a quiet and empty church and sitting in front of Jesus. Just sitting there.

I love being Catholic. I hope you see that now. And I hope, if you are Catholic, that your love for your faith has grown a little, and if you're not Catholic, that you see the Catholic faith with different eyes than you did before.

//

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// C O N V E R S I O N p t 3 //

This post will not make much sense unless you have read this post and this post first. 

Are you all caught up? Ok, great. 


Inside Notra Dame Cathedral- Paris, France.

Spring brings new life, flowers, bird songs, and proposals. Alex proposed to me in April of 2009. We decided we wanted to get married that coming fall, and I knew that I wanted to be Catholic before we were married. About a month before our wedding, in our home parish, I was received into the fullness of the Catholic Church with the sacrament of confirmation, and I received the Eucharist for the very first time. My parents as well as Alex's were there. And Alex was my confirmation sponsor.

As I stood at the front of that church I thought about all the times growing up at camp that I "came forward" to accept Jesus. There were butterflies, tears, and lots of hugs from friends afterwards. This was nothing like that. I waited for butterflies – but my stomach was calm. I blinked hard, thinking that if I could shed a couple of tears that would be proof that the Holy Spirit was indeed working in me. But my eyes remained dry. There were no emotions to ride. But there was peace. A deep, quiet peace.

Our priest asked me if I believed in God the Father, Jesus Christ His Son, and the Holy Spirit. And if I renounced Satan and all of his ways. And to each of these I answered yes.  Then he asked me if I believed in the teachings of the Catholic Church and held them to be true. Although I had made the decision to become Catholic months before, this was a question I would not have been able to answer "yes" to until just a few weeks before. In the grand scheme of things, my beliefs really weren't changing at all. The faith that had been handed to me by my parents shared all the main pillars of the Catholic faith: the Trinity, the divinity of Jesus Christ, and the salvation we have through Him. But there were many teachings of the Catholic Church that, for the majority of my life, I had held to be false. It was only in the last year that I had begun to consider that maybe, just maybe, I had been wrong about that.  Then one doctrine at a time, through prayer and study, my heart was being turned, my eyes were being opened, and I was seeing truth where I had once seen lies.

It all stared with NFP and openness to life in marriage.  Because I trusted the church so much on that issue, it made it easier to trust the Church about transubstantiation. And when I wrestled with Papal infallibility, I found confidence in the trust I had already established. And so I stepped out in faith.  It was just a small step, followed by another and another.

It was easy to agree with some teachings, like the use of scripture AND Tradition. Having grown up Lutheran I will say that I could feel my heart jumping out of my throat the first time I heard Sola Scriptura referred to as a heresy.  But when I looked at the vast number of protestant denominations, all claiming sola scriptura as truth, and all arriving at totally different teachings on the same subjects, I knew there had to be something guiding the interpretation of scripture.  Tradition is the rudder that steers the study of scripture. Tradition is what the first generations of Christians relied on before the New Testament was even written down. Tradition (cue Fiddler on the Roof music) doesn't mean that God can't speak to me directly when I read my Bible – He can, and does! But it does mean that after 2000 years the Catholic Church has remained faithful to all of her precepts.

There were some teachings that took a little more time to come around to, like purgatory, and teachings on Mary. With both of these I found there was just as much scripture arguing for as there was against. Purgatory made sense, or at least as much sense something as mysterious as life after death can make. But for some reason I could not come to terms with Mary. I believed she was theotokos, or God-bearer, I believed she was incredibly unique and blessed because of this, I believed what the Catholic Church teaches about her. But I couldn't ever see myself going to her for prayer, as an intercessor before her Son in heaven, and I certainly couldn't think of her as my own spiritual mother. I was put at ease a little by our priest who told me that a devotion to Mary was not dogma of the Catholic faith. And at the time I thought "ok, I'll just be one of those Catholics that's just not that into her." It wasn't until a couple of years later that I began to understand Mary a little bit.

And so I said "yes", that I believed the teachings of the Catholic Church and held them to be true. Does that mean everything makes sense to me all of the time? No. But the eyes of faith see more than my human understanding. So I look to Jesus and continue to study and learn about this rich heritage I now share in.

One month later I said yes to Alex, before God, and all our family and friends. It's true that in some sense I became Catholic because of Alex; if it wasn't for him I never would have have even considered it. But it was the Holy Spirit that lead me to become Catholic.


I became Catholic 5 years ago, but my conversion is still happening. 

Read part 4 here


// C O N V E R S I O N p t 2 //

Did you read the first part of this story yet? If not, you may want to get yourself caught up.

May of 2007: I just got home from 5 months in India where I had been volunteering as an English teacher. While I was there I did a lot of praying and soul searching about many things, one of which was my desire to get married. I had always wanted to be a wife and a mother, but had never dated or done anything even close to dating. I was 20 years old, I had seen the world, and now I felt like it was my turn to be in a relationship.

Enter Alex.

We worked together that summer at a bakery, I had known him very casually for few years but we'd never been more than co-workers—until that summer, when he asked me out on my first date (a whole other story for another blog post).

When I look back at the beginning of our relationship it all seems so crazy to me. I had always pictured myself becoming really good friends with a guy and then only dating him after I knew him really well.  But Alex and I were practically strangers! And to top it off, he was a Catholic! As someone who had always had very high ideals about love and purity and Christ-centered dating it was incredibly uncharacteristic of me to be dating an almost perfect stranger who, for all I know, didn't share any of my beliefs! I can only attribute it to the nudging of the Holy Spirit.

Anna and Alex, the early years.
It didn't take me long to see that, unlike almost all the Catholics I had previously known, Alex seemed to really know Jesus. One of our early conversation may have gone something like this:
me: So you're Catholic, right?
Alex: Yeah.
Me: So, what do you think about Jesus?
Alex....after a pause: Well...He's God, and I love him. 

This seemed like a good sign to me. He also had a good handle on scripture, and he could explain and defend many elements of his Catholic faith that puzzled me. We spent hours discussing points where our theologies disagreed. Me attacking, him always calmly and politely defending. I was impressed by his character and love for the Lord, and was convinced it was my job to help him break free from his Catholic bondage and become a real Christian.

Well, our first, second, and third dates turned into 3, then, 6, then 10 months of dating, and the more I got to know him the more I got the feeling that he wasn't just going to stop being Catholic. Around the time we had been dating for one year, Alex took a two-month trip to Peru. Shortly before he left I was (not so slyly) trying to get out of him where he "saw us going" and if he had thought about our relationship "long-term." A few days later, while I drove him to the airport, I got my answer. He handed me a book entitled The Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christoper West, and asked me if I would read it while he was gone, saying that if we got married he wouldn't expect me to convert, but he would still want to live out his Catholic faith, and that I should know what that entailed. I said goodbye to him, shed a few tears, drove home, and immediately started reading.

And I was blown away!

I knew a lot about scripture, and theology, and my church talked a lot about issues of faith and morals, like abortion, same-sex marriage, the death penalty, stem cell research, and fair trade. But I had never in all my life heard anyone suggest that artificial contraception could be outside of God's plan.  I had barely heard of natural family planning and just assumed it was an outdated calendar method used by Amish people. I had always assumed that when I got married I would go on the pill, wait 5 years, and when I was "ready" I would start having kids. I assumed that's what everyone did. I had no idea there were other possibilities.

Then I read this:

The Father, from all eternity, is making a gift of himself in love to the Son...
And the Son, eternally receiving the gift of the Father, makes a gift of Himself
back to Him. The love between them is so real, so profound, that this love is
another eternal Person—the Holy Spirit. 

Among other things, this is what our being made in the image and likeness of God
reveals: we're called to love as God loves, in a life-giving communion of persons...
The love between [a husband and wife] is so real, so profound, that God willing, 
it may become another human person. 

- Christopher West, The Good News About Sex and Marriage
Marital love is a complete giving of one's self to the other, not an exchange of goods. And love should always have the potential for life.  It doesn't mean you have to have 20 kids.  But it does mean you're not actively shutting out God's life-giving creativity. 

I read about the incredibly low divorce rate among NFP couples. I read about the dignity it offers to women, and how it fosters communication between a husband and wife. I read about health benefits and low costs. And as I read all this, I became convicted of two things: one was that this was truth, and I wondered why I had never been taught this anywhere else.  The other was that if the Catholic Church was so right in this matter, then maybe it was right about some other things.

I could feel my world being rocked. I was at a tipping point – I could turn around and forget all the things I was beginning to think, or I could I could pray harder, dig deeper, and challenge my faith in a way I had never done before. The feeling was agonizing, but in my heart of hearts I knew what I was going to do. And I got a huge dose of affirmation from my mom. "If you and Alex get married, you should be the same denomination, even if it means you becoming Catholic."

All that following year Alex and I went to a Fundamentals of Catholicism class. I learned about the ins and outs of Catholic doctrine. And the more I studied the more I saw that there was just as much biblical support for the Catholic side of an argument as there was for the protestant view I had held all my life. It was unsettling. But because I felt so strongly about some teachings, like NFP, and (gasp) transubstantiation, I knew I could trust the Church on issues I didn't understand as well.

I had also been going to mass with Alex every week.  The quiet, reverent and liturgical forms of worship were very different from the energetic and charismatic Sunday mornings I had grown up with. I was realizing that I had been relying on the emotional "high" of contemporary worship music to carry my relationship with the Lord. If I didn't feel butterflies in my stomach, or cry, or lift my hands in the air, well, then I hadn't really been worshiping. I hadn't really been in communion with Jesus. But Jesus shows up, regardless of style or emotions. He shows up if there is a guitar and drums, or if there is an organ and choir, or even if there is no music at all. He shows up when I am on a mountaintop of emotions and feeling all the feelings. But more importantly, He shows up when I'm tired, and life is hard, and I don't feel a thing. Those are the moments when I say, "Lord I believe, help my unbelief."

Learning how to worship without contemporary worship music was challenging. I knew my faith was maturing, but there were days when I just really wanted to sing the songs I loved best! Alex and I started attending an adoration service at the seminary here in St. Paul. (For the non-Catholic readers, an adoration is when the Blessed Sacrament [ie: the Bread {ie: the Body of Christ}] is exposed to pray and reflect in front of.  It's way to spend some time with Jesus.) At this particular service there was adoration, there were priests hearing confessions, and there was praise and worship music. I couldn't believe my eyes – there, in a beautiful chapel, nuns, priests, college students, kneeling in prayer, sitting quietly, standing with hands raised, and the sound of voices singing echoed and rebounded off the stone walls and arches. It was 100% Catholic, but it had that element of singing worship I had been missing. And for the first time since Alex and I had started dating I felt completely at home. For the first time I thought, yes I could be Catholic.

The Chapel at St. John Vianney Seminary. The place where I first thought I could be Catholic.
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// C O N V E R S I O N p t 1 //

Some revelations are instant, like lightning striking the heart, changing it forever. 

That's not the story of my conversion. 

 My conversion has been more of a gradual transformation, over a long period of time. Picture weaving a tapestry, or chiseling something out of stone. Well, that's me.  And I'm pretty sure I'm not finished yet. 

 I have been wanting to share this story for a while but have been hesitant because I know many of my non-Catholic family and friends follow along here and I don't want any of them to think that my Christian life pre-Catholicism didn't count for anything. It did. I would not be the Christian, and person, that I am today if it wasn't for the faith I received first from my parents. They taught me to know and love Jesus and that gift is the greatest heritage I could ever ask for. I've also been blessed with amazing friends and mentors who have influenced and shaped my faith during my most formative years. At an age when many people decide that the Christian life is not for them, my faith was alive and thriving because of these individuals. And they are still helping me grow today.

 I used to hate it when people would talk about my "conversion", or call me a "convert" to Catholicism. To me that word nullified my life as a Christian up to that point, which, as I mentioned before, was an incredibly important part of my life. A more accurate description of what happened to me is that I was "fully received" into the Catholic Church. Technically a convert would be someone who had no Christian background at all. But it's quick and easy to say and all the evangelicals-turned-catholic that I know call themselves converts. It's just what we do. 

 Actually, conversion is something that should be ongoing, for the person who is new to the catholic faith as well as the 80 year-old cradle catholic. We all turn our backs on God in small ways every day, hardhearted and stubborn souls that we are. Each day we need to come back to the Savior and say "here am I, Lord, take all of me...once again.


If you'd asked me in middle school, or high school, or even my first couple years of college, if I thought I would end up becoming Catholic, I would have said never.Catholics were people who worshiped Mary and didn't read the bible and blindly did everything the Pope told them to do. Did they even know Jesus at all? 

 As anti-catholic as I was, however, there were a few very catholic things that always fascinated me and drew me in: nuns, kneeling, and beautiful churches. 

Nuns: You see one walking down the street. They're plain, no make up, hair tucked in a wimple, big, black, billowy habit banishing any suggestion of a figure. But still, you can't take your eyes off them. They seem to radiate some beauty and power that's, oh I don't know, unearthly. As long as I can remember, I have always been in awe of nuns. 

As I became older my fascination with nuns lead me to deeper pondering. Who are these women who choose poverty and celibacy over "real life"? Never getting married? It sounded crazy to me. But in a small corner of my mind their life style seemed appealing. To not worry about keeping up with the latest trends, no staring at your closet trying to decide what to wear each day. Bad hair day? Doesn't matter! Your hair won't show! Not worrying about guys noticing you, or not noticing you. Instead, being concerned with holiness and service and Jesus. Only. What a satisfying life. 

 I'm sure I'm romanticizing the religious life, a little bit like Anne Shirley. "Wouldn't it be romantic to be the bride of heaven?" I am sure the religious life has it's own difficulties and stresses. But in our world, it seems so simplified. 

Then I went to India. Twice. My love for that country and the people I met there gave me a special bond to the now blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, who spent her life pouring herself out to the very poorest of the poor. Everyone who has seen images of her cannot deny that she was love in action, lifting the dying out of the gutters and rescuing abandoned babies. She saw Jesus in everyone that she encountered, and brought Jesus to everyone that she helped. 


I wanted to be like her. 

 And she was Catholic. 

 Kneeling: it's a posture that has always felt very right to assume. The Lutheran church I grew up in had kneelers. I was young enough when they were removed that I can hardly remember them. But they had been there.

 When I was a child my mom would make us kneel when we had family prayer time. When I became older I chose to do some of my own praying on my knees, in the privacy of my bedroom. But seldom did I kneel in public. And never did my entire church all kneel together before The Lord. The services at my church and on my Christian college campus were usually times of joyful, exuberant, high energy worship, and it was good to praise God that way, but my soul always craved the quieter moments, to kneel, or even be face down before the Lord. 

 The older I got the greater my desire for quiet reverence became. To the point that I stopped going to the chapel services at my college. The blaring music, worship leaders with celebrity status, lights and staging that rivaled a U2 concert- I couldn't handle the hype anymore.  Instead of a pastor, we had a speaker, instead of sanctuary, an auditorium, instead of an alter, a stage.  What was going on? Church seemed to be following pop culture, trying so hard to make Jesus relevant and attractive to a modern generation. When, shouldn't it be the other way around?  Should't our lives be changing to mirror His?

 I don't mean to criticize the modern church in America.  Sometimes, this model of a worship service brings people in the door, people meet Jesus, and lives are changed. But to me, it was becoming entertainment, and I didn't need entertaining.

Beautiful Churches: I know that there are many very pretty protestant churches out there, but I think that we can all agree that when it comes to beautiful churches, Catholics brought their A game. The Cathedral of Notre Dame, St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican, St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City, even our own Cathedral here in St. Paul - they are famous tourist attractions, world landmarks, architectural wonders; and they are all Catholic places of worship. Every single day of the year masses are offered in those spaces. 

I have always loved being in these beautiful Catholic churches. Everything about the way they are built draws you in and lifts your eyes to heaven and your heart can't help but overflow in prayer. You can't help but ponder the greatness of God. If you ever feel like you are starting to think too much of yourself, go sit in the Cathedral for a while, God will feel appropriately great and you will feel appropriately small. 

Sacred Heart Basilica- Paris

Notre Dame Cathedral- Paris

St. Peter's Basilica- Rome
I had a couple trips to Europe during my college years and throughout all the sight seeing the Catholic churches always stood out as my favorite places. What I didn't know all those times I went into those Catholic churches was that yes, the height of the dome was awe-inspiring and the stained glass beautiful and the quiet calmness perfect for prayer, but on top of that - Jesus was there! Right there, in the tabernacle, every single time. And though I didn't know it then, He was drawing me......