Holy Recap!

In case you were wondering how we fared during Holy Week, you can put your mind at rest and feast your eyes on this gem of a recap post, complete with grainy cell phone pictures.

You're welcome!

Alex is super involved with music at our church so between rehearsals and the Triduum he was gone every night last week. I was dreading it, picturing myself wrestling Johnny to sleep each night in place of Alex, who usually does bed time with him. But it actually wasn't so bad. There was only one night he missed bed time, and he was around for dinner most nights too.


I decided to gird my loins (as my friend Nell would say) and take Johnny to the Holy Thursday and Good Friday services at our church.  Holy Thursday went pretty well. Johnny spent most of mass working on holding the hymnal with one hand, the way I have to when I'm holding him on one hip and still trying to sing.

He also made the little girl in the pew in front of us very sad when he whipped out his sippy-cup and ziplock bag of goldfish crackers  I felt deeply guilty of having made mass all the harder for that poor family and instantly began reevaluating my decision to let Johnny have snacks during church. This has been how I have been surviving  mass by myself every week while Alex sings in choir. I know it will have to stop at some point. When is that point? Older, wiser parents? Advice? Please don't judge me too harshly.

Good Friday I tried to fast as much as possible in my pregnant state. No TV. No morning coffee.  No sweets. No instagram. I can't go more than a couple hours between meals/snacks without feeling gravely ill, and even though I was eating regularly I still felt hungry all day. I think it was sympathy hunger for everyone else who was fasting.

Johnny and I went to the Good Friday prayer vigil at the Planned Parenthood near our house. Johnny got to ride a school bus that shuttled us to and fro, and I thought that since he goes bananas with glee every time a school bus drives past our house he would be pretty thrilled to ride on one.  Instead he cried and kept his face buried in my jacket the whole time. We've been going to this event since Johnny was just a tummy baby and it's always deeply moving to me. It's also nice to have an activity to do that still feels Good Friday appropriate.


We did a little grocery shopping, went to stations of the cross at 3:00, ate tuna cheese melts for dinner (yum!!) and killed time waiting for church. My sister came with us for the Good Friday service, and I don't know if it was having a fun family member with us, or the recent memory of stations where he was permitted to walk around the church, but Johnny was terrible that night.  The worst he was been in church ever. For the first time ever he noticed Alex cantoring on the altar, even though Alex has been doing this all Johnny's existence. H kept shouting "papa?" in his high pitched screech that rebounded so nicely off the vaulted ceilings. Nothing could induce him to quietude, so he and I spend most of the service in the narthex.

For the first time since Alex and I have been dating he did not have to work the day before Easter.  In the bakery business the day before any major holiday is a really big day, getting up at 3:00 am and working 12 hours straight. But since Alex is on his way out of the bakery business and on his way to being a full time student many of his duties are being passed on to other people and he didn't need to go in! Alleluia! So we spent the day baking Easter goodies, including this cake, and getting some chores done.


My parents so nicely agreed to come over to watch Johnny so that I could go to the Eater Vigil and hear my husband sing the Exultet. Johnny is really hard at bed time  It takes me an hour to get him to sleep and it usually takes Alex a half hour. I wasn't sure that he would go to sleep for my parents at all and was bracing myself for an over stimulated, over tired toddler to deal with when we got home. But he was sound asleep and it turns our it only took my dad 10 minutes to put him to bed! (He's a grandpa's boy.) So now the questions remains, do we try a night away without him? I think yes.


Since we both went to the Vigil and I got all my baking done on Saturday we spent Easter morning in our PJs eating cinnamon rolls and bacon. It was the most relaxing morning we've had in a long time. I even painted my toenails. Johnny took a great nap, Then we headed over the my parents house where we feasted ourselves on ham and cheesy potatoes (a Lutheran thing) and glorified rice (also a Lutheran thing), and of course Jelly Bellies and malted milk eggs!


Congratulations, you made it to the end of this post. I hope your Easter was filled with all the treats you like the best, and don't forget, it's still Easter! So keeping saying Alleluia!

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Making it a Holy Week

It's Holy Week. The holiest of home stretches leading up to Easter. The marathon of masses. The last hurrah of the season of Lent.

But can I be honest with you?

This has not been my best Lent.

My liturgical involvement has been minimal. We haven't attended Stations on the Cross once because it coincides with Johnny's bedtime, and I am way to exhausted by the time evening rolls round.

And my sacrifices have been wimpy. With my stomach feeling super queasy and my list of palatable foods changing with each day, giving up a particular food item didn't seem that feasible.

The thought of giving up TV or social media seemed unbearable as that often provides a much needed distraction from feeling tired or sick.

So I decided I would give up complaining instead.

ha. 

ha ha.

Ask my husband how I did on that one. Could he even tell a difference?

I feel gross.  I hate morning sickness. I'm so tired. Johnny is being so difficult. I slept terribly.

And so on. And so on.

Oh you're suffering enough by being pregnant, many people have said to me. I'd kind of like to take that excuse. But when I look at the cross and see the horrific and amazing sacrifice Jesus made there, playing the pregnant card just seems lame, pathetic, and unacceptable.

Today I am over at Blessed is she for the daily devotional. I turned in my writing assignment back in February, but the words ring so true for me I could have written it today.

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"Mary took a pound of costly ointment of pure nard and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair; and the house was filled with the fragrance of the ointment.” (John 12:3) 


What a beautiful and intimate scene we are allowed a glimpse of in today’s Gospel, Mary anointing the feet of Jesus. Foot washing was a common show of hospitality in Biblical days, but Mary takes it one step further by anointing Jesus’ feet with pure nard. Nard was a very expensive spice, the cost of which was close to an entire year’s wages. Mary could have saved this extravagant ointment to use on herself, or, as Judas so bluntly points out, she could have sold it for a great deal of money. But there is no room in her mind for anything but Jesus, and so she pours this precious gift out on His feet........continue reading at Blessed is She.


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Here I am, feeling like my own sacrifices are a little embarrassing compared to what Mary so willingly gave. 

But there's still time. We have a week left. This very Holy Week. It's time to give everything.

When I feel sick to my stomach, give it to Jesus. 

When I'm so tired my whole body hurts, give it to Jesus.

When there are complaining and impatient words hitting the back of my teeth, give them to Jesus. 

When it feels like motherhood is a never ending exercise in suffering, give it to Jesus and thank Him for suffering for me. 

And most of all my heart, the thing He desires more than any amount of desserts or screen time. If I can give Him my heart with reckless abandon then it really will be a Holy Week. 

I hope you have a Holy Week and a Happy Easter!

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Mom Confession Vol. 6: We Must Be crazy

I looked on helplessly as my 22-month old tore each and every book and DVD off the shelf and threw them to the floor, too tired and nauseous to rise from my place on the couch to intervene. Then I looked down at my rapidly expanding belly and I thought, we must be crazy! 

I am all for babies and children and large families, but right now I am having a moment where I completely understand why some people just want one.  Or maybe two, a boy and a girl would be nice. I love being a mom, but it is really hard! And come October, I'll be a mom of not just one, but two!

We must be crazy! 




The last two months of morning sickness (who made up that name anyway? What a misnomer. More like all day, all night sickness.) and extreme fatigue have left me feeling like motherhood is a thankless job that demands all and gives nothing back. I've sacrificed my usual alone time during Johnny's nap to nap myself. Not having that time for self care or creative expression is beginning to take its toll. I'm crabby, mad at my husband for all the time he gets to spend with grown-ups at work, impatient with Johnny when he's just being a toddler, and overall feeling maxed out. 

Remind me why I am doing this again?

It's easy to say that all the sweet moments make up for all the hard ones.  All the good cuddles, and and sweet sloppy kisses, and first steps and first words make all this hard work worth it. As awesome as all those things are, they're also kind of superficial. I think being a mother has to mean more than that.

I've been reading Everyday Sacrament: The Messy Grace of Parenting by fellow blogger Laura Kelly Fanucci, and apart from it being packed with beautiful word of wisdom, every time I open it up I feel like someone is saying to me, "I know how you feel, and it's ok." And then I feel like someone is saying, "this is holy work we are doing. It's hard, but it's holy."


I am learning more about Christ and becoming more like Him because I am a mother. I knew this in a head knowledge kind of way. But it didn't really strike my heart until I read this the other night:

You are a whisper of a whirl curled up deep in my belly. The hormonal soup
in which you swim makes me nauseous at all hours of the day. I choke down
crackers when I wake, throw up in the sink before breakfast, and pull over at
gas stations to get sick on the drive to work. I collapse on the couch before 
sunset most evenings, too tired to drag myself to bed. 

I am three months. pregnant. This is my body, given for you.  

When I feel like I have nothing more to give, all of sudden my giving feels like it has some purpose. Being a mother is making me more like Christ. I can feel the wood of the cross. I can appreciate His life poured out to give me life.

Apart from the ways I am being made holier through motherhood, being a mother is worth it because of children themselves. Children have intrinsic value because they, like all of us, are created in the image and likeness of God. Even though they may make my life harder, and put a damper on some fun I might otherwise be having, children matter. My cousin Bethany wrote a great post on this very subject and I went back and read it again this week, because, well, I needed it. 

Then, on top of all of this, there's this amazing thing of being allowed to participate in the miracle of creation. When I really stop and consider what's going on inside of me it just seems crazy. A person is growing inside me. It's so weird and mysterious and divine.

So maybe we are a little bit crazy, but at least I know why I am doing this. That's what makes it all worth it. 


7 quick takes vol. 14: all about morning sickness

Now that the cat's out of the bag, I can blog all about morning sickness symptoms, which is the only thing I can think about right now.


Blurry 9 week bump.  Not sure how much of this is new baby bump or left over Johnny bump.


//1//

First trimester stinks in so many ways, except that I can eat whatever I want all day long and not gain any weight. In fact, this is how I keep from feeling too sick, I just keep eating, whatever sounds good. It's been a lot of toast. A lot of smoothies. And a lot of the frozen macaroni dinners from Trader Joe's. So cheesy and delicious. Surprisingly though, sweets have not been sounding too great. When I was pregnant with Johnny I had ice cream pretty much everyday for 9 months. With this one there's only been one emergency DQ run...so far. I suspect this will pick up once summer hits. 

//2//

A couple weeks ago I had Burger King at 10:00 in the morning. It was the best tasting thing I ate all day. No shame.

//3//

My sense of smell is so amazing right now. We were at a gala for a Catholic school about a month ago and I could smell glasses of red wine from five feet away. Also, every time I open the refrigerator it smells like barf. And every time I change Johnny's diaper it smells like barf. And every time Alex eats something with garlic...you get the idea. 

//4//

Alex has this pair of really baggy, comfy sweatpants, and that is all I've been wearing for the past six weeks. 5 minutes before students come over I suck it up and put some jeans on. It's the worst part of my day.

//5//

I'm now a senior citizen. I go to bed at 9:30 every night. If I don't I turn into a pile of sweatpants and fizzy water bottles. Just. So. Tired. Poor Alex has had to put up with so much. But he's a champ, picking up all of the slack I've been leaving all around. What would I do without him?

//6//

Keeping Johnny happy during the day is hard to do while trying to lie still on the couch, but we manage. The other day I was snacking on some grapes and Johnny really enjoyed pulling them off the stems and then feeding them to me. Or rather, stuffing his entire fist into my mouth. We did this for over a half hour.  We also sit on the couch and take selfies together.





//7//

We're at 9 weeks over here. So I figure I've got a few more weeks before I'm feeling 100% again. But I do believe the morning sickness has been easing up a little bit this past week. Which is good, because I really hate it when folding a single basket of laundry feels like an accomplishment. 


for more Quick Takes visit This Ain't The Lyceum 

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Parenting and the Unexpected

I just want to have a plan. I want things to go according to plan. I want to know what lies ahead, and I want to be in control. But when does that ever happen? I should just get used to charging forward into the great unknown and embrace the unexpected.

Everything about our parenting journey so far has been unexpected.

We weren't expecting the two year battle with infertility we faced before conceiving Johnny. We were two young, and by all appearances, healthy people. Infertility didn't happen to people like us. But it did - it caught me totally off guard, and it taught me that you can plan all you want but ultimately everything is in the hands of The Lord.

We weren't expecting the miscarriage I suffered during those two years of trying. It was probably the most devastating experience of my life, and something I probably still haven't fully grieved over. But it did teach me to take nothing for granted, and that every soul created is worth celebrating and worth grieving over.

Then there is Johnny. Everything about him has been a surprise. Two weeks before I found out I was pregnant with him my physician referred me for a laporoscopic procedure for endometriosis. This would be an expensive procedure, it would most likely not be covered by insurance, and it wouldn't even guarantee that we would be able to conceive afterwards. Everything I thought I wanted for my life was called into question. Was I supposed to have kids? Was I supposed to be a mom? If not, then what did God want from me? I learned through this experience, more than anything else, to surrender my will, my hopes, and dreams, 100% to Jesus.

And then the positive pregnancy test.

"How?" I asked my doctor.

"Sometimes God works miracles." she said.

I had already learned not to take anything for granted and so I spent the first five or six months being excited, but trying not to hold on too tightly to that pregnancy. Once my baby was viable, I began to relax and think, this is really happening!

Then Johnny was born and all his unexpected health complications began to surface. Our introduction to parenthood was like being plunged head first into river of rapids. Miscarriage was still the most devastating thing I had every been through, but that week in the NICU with Johnny was the most difficult thing I've ever been through. I also think that that week has grown my character and shaped my life, not to mention strengthened my marriage, more than any other life event. I've learned that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

Parenthood continues to throw the unexpected at us. Some are unpleasant, like the onset of toddler tantrums. But then there is a 10 hour stretch of sleep through the night that leaves us so refreshed and almost afraid to mention it for fear that it will never happen again.

We had one of those happy unexpecteds about a month ago in the form of a positive pregnancy test! We had been trying for a few months, I was getting pretty used to the negative tests and was mentally preparing myself for another long fight for a baby.  And then it happened! Maybe it was getting Johnny night-weaned.  Maybe it was going off sugar for a month. Maybe it was just when God wanted it to happen. Whatever it was, it happened. And we are thrilled!

Tiniest ultrasound picture ever. This was baby at 6 weeks.
But there's still that one thing, the unknown, the unexpected. I know all too well that things don't always go according to plan. I just want someone to guarantee that everything will be ok, but I know that's not possible. And so my joy is laced with caution. We've already been through so much, so I know that whatever happens, by the grace of God, we will persevere. 

And though I'm still new to the job, I really believe that's what parenthood is: a whole lot of unknowns and unexpecteds. And a whole lot of grace to get through it. 

100% officially accepting prayers for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby! Look for baby #2 at the beginning of October!


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Alex Tries Warby Parker


After talking about trying Warby Parker for new glasses for months we finally did it.  Well, Alex did. And just so you know, this is not a sponsored post.  We just really like glasses over here.

For those not familiar with Warby Parker, it's an online glasses store.  Their shtick is you pick out 5 frames, they send them to you for free so you can try them on and think about it for 5 days, then you send them back, for free.  If you found one you liked then you can order it with your prescription, if not, no worries and you're not out any money. 

We spent hours on the website trying to decided which 5 frames Alex should try.  And it was so exciting when they came and he actually got to try them on - a nice little activity to liven up a winter's day.  Here are his selections.  He wants opinions! So let us know which one you like the best!

1. Theo. Ok. Pretty normal. Felt a little narrow.

2. Downing. Looked crooked no matter what.

3. Burke. I thought these were my favorite until....

4. Seymour. .....I saw these. Now I'm torn. 

5. Oliver. What can I say? They're glasses. 

This was the ottoman I was standing on whilst taking Alex's pictures.  When I was done Johnny decided he had to try and that it was the coolest thing in the world. He stayed up there for like 20 minutes.  




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// L E N T E N G I V E A W A Y //




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We're coming up on my very favorite liturgical season, Lent. And it's not because I love to punish myself. It's because I tend to be selfish and self-centered, and Lent, which calls us to penance, fasting and alms giving, calls me out of my selfishness to forces me to focus first and foremost on the cross of Christ, and the very great sacrifice He made to open the way to salvation for us. Lent also forces me to look and my spiritual life, what does my daily prayer look like? Am I being generous with my time and with the gifts I have been given? Am I putting the needs of others before my own?

We start these 40 days of lent with ashes on our foreheads and the somber reminder that "from dust you came and to dust you shall return." Humility, seeing God as He is: the Author of Salvation, and me as I am: dust. That's another thing I love about lent.  It puts me in my place.

Because Lent is my favorite season on the Church year, I am throwing a little giveaway to hopefully get you all pumped up about Lent! Blessed Is She has done it again in offering a beautiful journal to help us get more out of lent, and by doing so have a more amazing Easter. I am pleased to offer a very lucky one of you one of these journals along with some other goodies to say thanks for reading and I hope you have a Lent that draws you out of yourself and deeper in love with Jesus.

In this bundle:

A Blessed Is She Lenten Journal; "Only One Thing"



A Downloadable Inspiration Print of your choice designed by Elise at With Joy Caligraphy



A PDF of a 2015 Catholic Through the Year Calendar from Martina at Catholic Sistas



A St. Therese hair bow for your daughter/neice/favorite little girl out there from Holy Hairbows, also made by Martina.




A set of 10 Insperational note cards (blank inside) made by Aubry from Aubry Rose Designs




And A Mini Embroidery Hoop Necklace of your choice (up to $15 value) made by Jenna at Call Her Happy

A Big Big Thank You to the lovely ladies who contributed to this giveaway.  Be sure to check out each of their shops and to show them some love. Now get entering! Giveaway closes Friday at midnight. 


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5 favorite sugar free treats


linking up with Jenna at Call Her Happy

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Some of you may already know that I gave up sugar for the month of January, and this post is proof that I lived to tell about it. I eat way too much sugar, and after the sugar overload the holidays, baked goods and treats from piano students and stocking-stuffers I just felt gross. I knew I needed to take a little break from the sweets and learn to realign my cravings.  It was hard, it was painful, I had some nasty headaches and was crabbier than usual the first couple days.(ok, the whole month.) I may have cheated on the weekends (oops), but eventually I did get used to not eating sweets all day long. And, surprise, surprise, I feel way better because of it.

I didn't give up ALL sugars. I still ate fruit and dairy and other foods that contain naturally occurring sugars. I really just gave up desserts, sweets and treats. Because I wasn't eating my usual copious amounts of chocolate, scones and ice cream everyday I had to come up with some new favorite snacks and treats. And here they are. 

1. Dates and other dried fruit. I love dates all the time. But when I'm not eating sweets dates become the most wonderful delicious after dinner treat in the world. Also good are dried cherries and apricots. That's what I used to treat my withdrawal headaches. Be careful though, some dried fruit has sugar added to it. Check labels!


2. This tea:


It's a decaffeinated black tea with vanilla in it. So it smells sweet but doesn't actually have any sugar. I put some cream in mine and it's almost (actually not really) like having a cup of hot chocolate at the end of the day. 


3. Plain yogurt with fresh fruit and my favorite granola recipe



4. Cashews. Five weeks ago you would not have found any nuts on my list of treats. But cashews are actually a pretty sweet nut.  They're good and filling too, so they really help satisfy cravings.


5. Toast with this jam. 


This jam is totally sugar free. It's so good. And eating toast with jam and a cup tea just feels so good and British. Amiright? 

So, there you have it. Now it's February. Praise the Lord! I'm still going to try to take it easy on the sweets, especially during the week. But I did make this cake from The Pioneer Woman for a Super Bowl party we went to and have been happily eating the left overs all week. 

Who else is cutting back on sugar? What have you been snacking on?

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