Adventures with Strollers

Thanks to my mother-in-law we now have a double stroller at our disposal. And it has opened up all sorts of new possibilities for us.

Like going to Crate & Barrel to shop my sister's wedding registry.


But let me back up. Crate & Barrel was not our maiden voyage with the double. We used it at Trader Joe's on Tuesday after speech therapy. Trader Joe's seemed like a good place to try something new. We're used to them and I think they're pretty used to us, or at least people like us. 

I don't know if you've noticed this but the shopping carts at TJ's are just a little too small to accommodate the infant car seat. It's too precarious in the front, and yes, it fits in the basket of the cart, but then there is zero room for groceries. I also still need to strap Johnny into something, he's not trust worthy enough to walk around in the store. I could put Trixie in the sling and Johnny in the cart, but it's winter and I'd have to take my coat off to put the sling on, and the Trader Joe's by speech therapy doesn't have underground parking like the one by my house, so I'd have to be outside without a coat and I'm pretty wimpy about the cold. And yes, the agonizing details of how we are going to go to the grocery store are what I lay awake thinking about at night. (That and new knitting projects.)

So anyway, the cart was out, the double stroller was in, and it worked great. Johnny was tickled by the idea of Trixie riding next to him, and Trixie liked being able to see the sights. I took a basket and stuck on top of the stroller and while we probably looked a little out of place ambling through Trader Joe's with that giant stroller, just using the basket prevented me from making too many impulse buys and the children remained quite happy. Win, win. 

Crate & Barrel was a much more serious endeavor. I normally would not have even bothered with carting my children across town to a fancy home furnishings store like that, because what is internet shopping for if not too keep us moms from having to take our kids out in public. But my procrastination in getting a shower gift paired with Alex's dire need for quiet study drove me to this desperate measure. 

It went pretty well, aside from the handicapped entrance being out of order, leaving me to fumble my way through the door. And then when chatting with the sales person I referred to us as the "elephant in the china shop", then realized on the drive home that I confused my expressions. It's "a BULL in a china shop." But I think my sentiment still got across. 

We made it through rows and rows of stemware and dinner plates without anything bad happening. I crammed the double stroller, 2 kids, and 4 Crate & Barrel boxes into my Honda Civic (I'm already seeing the appeal of a minivan) nursed Trixie in the passenger seat, and we headed home. Alex met us in the garage to help carry in all the things. Then I poured myself a nice glass of ice water. Because it's lent. 

All in all, a success. 

You probably didn't expect you'd hear that much about using that double stroller. But you did. Those who stuck with me to the end, I hope it was worth it. 


6/52

the 52 project

"A portrait of my children once a week, every week, for 2016."

Johnny/2 yrs. 8 mos.


We have so many trying moments throughout the day, but here all I can think is, "beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy."


Trixie/4 mos.

Being my winter baby, I never get to see her good chubby legs. So when the house feels warm I strip her down and we pretend it's summer.

7 quick takes vol. 23

//1//

Alex doesn't have class on Fridays. But he tries to spend most of the day studying, and I try to let him study most of the day, so it's really not much different than a class day. EXCEPT that he doesn't have to get up at 6:30. Today we got sleep in all the way until 6:45 before Johnny woke up. We have sort of given up any hopes of sleeping in any time in the next 10 years. But at least on Fridays we can move a little slower in the mornings and have breakfast together. 


//2//

I got my hair cut yesterday! 

I had been growing my hair and bangs out for about a year, using Blake Lively as my long hair inspiration.


Yes. And when I've finished my morning coffee I'll just go up stairs and make my hair look like that. Said no mom ever.  Oh wait! She is a mom. But now I'm just getting off subject. 

My hair, surprisingly, never turned out like that. Blowing it out took forever, having it up gave me headaches, and most days it just got pulled back into a greasy low ponytail. 

Like this! 


So I gave up and embraced the Mom Bob because, after all, I am a mom. But I added bangs because bangs = instant style.


Oh. Did I put on make-up and use some fancy VSCOcam filters to make my after pic look way better than my before pic? 

Absolutely I did. 

//3//

So there's been a development in my Walking Dead plans. We had watched through season 5 on Netflix, and then I read something about season 6 premiering this Sunday. I was getting all geared up for our special valentines-walking-dead-stay-home-date and figuring out where we were going to watch it online when I discovered A: that you have to have cable to watch it on AMC.com and B: this is a MID SEASON premiere! Meaning there are 8 whole episodes out that I have not yet seen!  

What am I going to do? Anyone have any insider tips for where/how I can watch my zombies? 

//4//

Want to try something fun? Use a breast pump with a toddler in the same room. 

'Nough said. 

//5//

I made pho (pronounced fuh) last week for Alex's birthday! (Sorry, no birthday photos!) It turned out pretty good, except that I forgot to add the soy sauce and fish sauce. Pretty staple Asian flavors. Oops! So I can only imagine that it will be awesome the next time I make it. 

//6//

What's Trixie been up to, you may ask? Well, she started rolling over this week. I have no evidence of it. She doesn't perform for the camera, so you'll just have to take my word on that one.

But here she is doing her other new trick: holding on to her feet!


//7//

Today Johnny had an appointment with a new speech therapist.  There was nothing wrong with our old therapist; we really liked her. But one week shortly before Trixie was born she was sick so we had a sub instead, and it was the best speech therapy session Johnny has ever had. I can't quite put in to words why except for that she just knew how to work with Johnny. I immediately inquired about her with the scheduler and found out she normally works out of a different location that's about 30 minutes away from us. I'm very spoiled in that everything I have to go to (church, grocery store, pediatrician, speech therapy, even our parents houses) are all about 5 minutes from our house. Driving across the city isn't really something I do. So I just thought, oh well! And then Trixie was born and we continued with our regular therapist.

But with everything that has been going on with Johnny's speech regression and fluid in his ears, Alex and I thought it was worth revisiting the possibility of switching therapists.  So today we made the trek to the far far away clinic and had a trial session just to see if the magic was still there.

And Oh! Gentle Reader. It was there. Johnny was saying words and making sounds he has never said or made before. I couldn't help crying tears of joy because most days things are hard and his progress is so slow and I'm not sure it we're doing the right things for him. But today was good, and I knew we had made the right decision.


//

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giving up my anger

Oh, hello Lent!

I almost forgot you were here earlier today when I found a piece and candy in my coat pocket. I did a mental fist-pump, said "score" to myself and was just about to unwrap the little beauty before I remembered my resolve to mortify my flesh for 40 days by denying it the sweets it most constantly craves.

I've been indulging some pretty bad eating habits all in the name of Postpartum and Breastfeeding, and made a plan a few weeks ago to use Lent as an opportunity to reset. You see, my resolve to diet and lose weight is so weak that I can't manage it at all without the help of Catholic Guilt.

 But I know that Lenten Dieting is almost as bad as Missionary Dating (I tried that too once, and ended up being the one to convert. Oops!) so when I read Pope Francis's appeal to give up more than candy and booze I said, "don't worry Papa, I'm all over it."

You see, I've also been indulging in some pretty bad temper tantrums lately, all with the excuse that My Life Is Hard and I'm Entitled To Get Angry.

Example:

It takes me, no joke, 20 minutes to leave the house with my two children. Someone will invariably poop and require a new set of drawers. Then Johnny will have a freak out about getting his coat on because it means he has to put down his car for 2 seconds. Then Johnny will poke Trixie in the face while I'm getting my coat on and she will need some comforting.  Then I will realize there are no diapers in the diaper bag. Then I can't find my keys. All the while the decibel level of my voice is soaring to new heights as I give vent to my frustrations.

And I deserve to get mad.

When Trixie is on her fifth night feeding, I deserve to get mad.

When my husband has to study all day Saturday and Sunday, I deserve to get mad.

When Johnny refuses to nap, I really deserve to get mad.

And you know what? I like getting mad.  I like my righteous indignation because it makes me feel like I am the victim, I'm the one who deserves justice, I'm right when everyone else in the world is wrong. And I'm going to get angry about it. What else could I do? NOT get angry?

Actually, I've known for a long time that I need to not get angry. That instead of giving into anger I need to practice the fruits of the Spirit. I've even had a little note card with the fruits of the Spirit printed on it hanging on my bathroom mirror for, oh I don't know, about a year. Needless to say, I still need some work.



So for Lent I am giving up my anger. And like a gentle "yes, this is good" from the Holy Spirit, I read these words in yesterday's first reading.

"Rend your hearts, not your garments,
and return to the LORD, your God.
For gracious and merciful is he,
slow to anger, rich in kindness,
and relenting in punishment."

How patient and slow to anger has the Lord been with me? I am called to do the same with those around me, starting with my own family.

Anyone else feeling the need to give up more than candy and booze?

//

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5/52

 "A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2016."


Johnny/2yrs 8mos
This one's called, "Not Napping".  You're doing a lot of that these days. But still, so precious.


Trixie/ 4mos
This picture captures your personality perfectly; so happy and good-natured. Also, I never understood about headbands on babies, until someone gave you one as a a gift. Then I went out to Target and got several different colors.

//

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4/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2016."


Johnny/2 yrs. 8 mos. 
 hiding.


Trixie/3.5 mos.
cheeks and chins for days. 

//

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The Tale of Johnnys Ear Tubes. Or: I'm Still Learning How to be a Parent

We were thrown into some intense parenting when Johnny was born almost three years ago. The learning curve was steep and we had to run to keep up. Parenting Johnny required knowledge of things I never could have imagined I would need as a parent, like how to change a colostomy bag, or how to nurse a baby without pulling out his hearing aids, and what a left superior vena cava is. I remember feeling so overwhelmed by the information being hurled at me, like parenting would never be normal, or easy. (Little did I know, parenting is always crazy, no matter your circumstances). But the Lord was requiring of me something different than what I had imagined, and I had no choice but to rise up and face it full on.

And you know what? I survived! We all did.

Facebook recently reminded me that Johnny had his (hopefully) last GI surgery two years ago. It seemed like we would never be done with that colostomy bag, but now it's a distant memory.


Then things settled down for us quite a bit.  Johnny started speech therapy, and we've had to deal with some pretty bad diaper rash.  But aside from that, parenting has been pretty "normal" these last 2 years.

I liked that things were going well and we didn't have to worry about anything, and that life was going the way I expected it to. So when Johnny stopped hearing this fall I think I didn't want to admit it.

It's easy to blame things on toddler-hood.

He's not responding to us because he's a toddler.

He throws a lot of tantrums because he's a toddler.

Speech therapy isn't going well because he's a toddler.

What was really going on though was that fluid was collecting behind his ear drums and not draining, taking his hearing loss from mild-moderate to profoundly deaf. He hasn't been hearing us. And the thing that kills me is that we have no idea how long it's been going on. We do know that in September his ear drums were working normally. And then in December they weren't.

He was referred to get ear tubes, and after the referral it took almost 6 weeks to get it done. So worst case scenario, he went four months without hearing. But now he's got his ear tubes, the ENT said she drained a ton of thick, goopy fluid, so that's good. We still have some follow up testing to do, but it's looking good.


So here's the part where I'm still learning how to be a parent.

Around the time Trixie was born I began to suspect that he wasn't hearing. But I didn't say anything or schedule any tests because no one else noticed it.  That was my first mistake. You can't wait for the experts and the professionals to tell you that something's wrong, because they don't know your kid like you do. You have to speak up for them.

Then, when we finally did figure out that he wasn't hearing us it took SO LONG to do something about it. Everyone is booked out so far. And that brings me to my second mistake. I was afraid of being impolite. Maybe it's Minnesota Nice, maybe it's German Passive-Aggressiveness. Whatever it is, I don't want to inconvenience anyone or ruffle any feathers. So when I called to schedule a consultation for the ear tubes and the ENT was booked out 3 weeks I said "ok, that's fine!" But after one week of scrambling to learn some sign language to use with Johnny and seeing how eager he was to communicate I knew it was not fine.

I was back on the phone with the scheduler, pleading for something sooner, expecting to be denied, when she said, "Are you free tomorrow at noon?"

Parents, you gotta speak up for your kids, even though it may be annoying or inconvenient for someone else. As the old adage goes, "the squeaky wheel gets the grease."

The consultation held no surprises, Johnny was declared a candidate for ear tubes. Then it was me and the scheduler again, trying to find a date when we could do the tubes and an ABR hearing test at the same time.  He needs to be sedated for both, so it makes sense to do them during the same appointment and avoid a second sedation. But because this would involve the ENT and the Audiologist, scheduling was tricky and the earliest availability was four weeks out.

Four more weeks of him not hearing.

I had this nagging feeling that maybe in this case it would be better to sedate him twice to get the ear tubes in sooner, but it took me three days to do anything about it. I called our pediatrician (aka Alex's dad) to see what he thought and he agreed with me, we should get the tubes in right away and worry about the ABR test later. I called the scheduler on more time, was annoying one more time, and she got us an appointment one week later.

So I guess this is what I'm still learning about being a parent:  You have to trust your gut and speak up for your child, because no one can advocate for them as well as you can. And don't worry about inconveniencing someone in the process, because that doesn't matter. Usually people are happy to help.  But you have to speak up first.


//

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