I always like a year-end recap post. I know there are people who would rather forget 2020, but I am not one of those people. I say let’s remember! The things we experienced in 2020 will impact us in ways we are not even aware of yet. It’s already the thing we date other things from - “That was pre-pandemic” - “This happened after the first lockdown.” I want to remember what this crazy year was like for us.
So here we go.
JANUARY
“This was pre-pandemic.” We went to Florida to visit Alex’s mom. I had never gone south during the dead of winter and now I totally understand the snowbird way of existence. Taking a break from single digit temps makes the rest of winter so much more bearable. This was the kids’ first time on an airplane and they loved it. They loved Grandma’s pool and being outside without a jacket on.
I went off social media for the month of January. I felt like I was spending too much time on my phone and not enough time looking into the faces of the people I live with. Instead of “getting to know” perfect strangers on the internet, I decided my time was better spent investing in relationships with people in my physical circles. (No offense, Internet.) It makes my laugh that I had this realization just a couple months before we would be cut of from all the people in our physical circles. But the experience was a good one. I was grateful for social media during the lock down, but I still maintain that in-person relationships are more edifying than virtual ones. When the pandemic allows, that is where I wish to focus my energy.
FEBRUARY
February was a month of leaning into winter. Alex-being the fun parent- shoveled all snow in our backyard into a little sledding hill for the kids. They loved it and all I had to do was bundle them up and send them out. Even little Joey was able to keep up with the big kids.
I first heard about a thing called Corona Virus in February. Being a natural hypochondriac I was, of course, terrified at the prospect of a new and rapidly-spreading virus with no cure. I remember the very surreal feeling of each day hearing of a new country, region, and state reporting cases. Waiting for the storm to hit.
MARCH
This is when things really began to happen. This is where I want to make sure I’ve remembered correctly.
Minnesota reported it’s first case of COVID-19 on March 6th. On March 12 the Archbishop suspended the obligation for Sunday Mass, though Masses still continued at this point. March 17 was our last day of in-person school for the year. On March 18 the archbishop suspended all public Masses. And on March 27 Minnesota’s stay at home order went into affect. We set up our distance learning station in the dining room. Alex set up a tele-health station in our closet. We watched Sunday Mass from our sofa.
In the midst of missing family and friends and going crazy over school work and being cooped up, the thing that was saddest and strangest was seeing our church, which is just a few blocks from our house, completely shuttered. We were used to being in and out of our church for Mass, for adoration, for choir practice and other events. It’s always been available to us, and for the first time ever, it wasn’t. We were blessed with an unusually mild March and were able to take lots of walks. We would always walk by church to read the chalk messages that our priests and religious, and other parishioners, had drawn on the front steps. For several weeks that was as close to Jesus as we could get.
APRIL
April brought the strangest Easter I will (hopefully) ever experience. I sat on the couch by myself, my kids all asleep upstairs, and watched my husband sing the Easter Vigil in a nearly empty church. The next day (April 12th) we got a blizzard. Our priests had planned a Eucharistic procession around the parish neighborhood. We knelt on the sidewalk, in the snow, as our priest brought Jesus by in the monstrance. It felt more sorrowful and celebratory, and I don’t think I have ever loved being Catholic more than in that moment. Later that day we did a zoom call with family, and enjoyed a snowy curbside cocktail with some friends (don’t worry, the driver didn’t drink anything.)
MAY
We, like nearly every other family with school aged children, limped to the finish line of spring semester. I’ll admit there were a few things I liked about distance learning (a slower start to the morning, not having to interrupt Joey’s nap for school pick up), and we did find our groove, but I rejoiced greatly on the last day of school.
Our sheltering in place came to a very abrupt end when, at the end of May, George Floyd was killed three miles from our house. Peaceful protests, as well as violence, looting and arson erupted all over Minneapolis and St. Paul. Helicopters hovered over head for days, and National Guard trucks rolled into town. Businesses in our neighborhood were being targeted, and for the first time in 11 years I didn’t feel safe in my own home. I realized that to feel safe in one’s own home is a luxury, one that many people in the world, and my own neighborhood, don’t enjoy on a regular basis. We went to stay with my parents and that night police set up a barricade on our street just a few blocks from our house.
I’m still processing what happened in our community. There are certainly experts who can comment on it better than I can. But here’s my take away: The burned out carcasses of buildings that I now see on a regular basis are a reminder of the pain in our neighborhoods, and of my need to learn and to listen.
JUNE
June brought a respite from pandemic restrictions. Retail businesses and restaurants reopened, and we rejoiced at the return to public worship. The kids played hard on the swing set Alex built for them. I worked to my hearts content in my garden. We mastered the art of backyard social gatherings. For the most part life felt pretty normal, I was able to take a much needed mental break.
JULY
In July I bought those outdoor string lights I’d been wanting for three years and did one of my very favorite things: threw a big, fancy party. We were delighted to host The Stapletons for a backyard concert (totally compliant with COVID guidlines). We got to spend the evening with some of our dearest friends drinking wine, listening to music, and enjoying each others company until the sun went down. That gathering was my favorite moment of the entire summer.
AUGUST
After a few more weeks of being outside as much as possible, the kids went back to school at the end of August. The start of the school year was filled with so much uncertainty. Were we doing the right thing, sending them in person? Would we even make it a month before having to revert back to distance learning? Was it possible for little kids to keep masks on for long stretches of time? It was a perfect mix of fear and joy.
SEPTEMBER
During the month of September our kids spent just about as many days in school as out of school. Making in-person learning work during a pandemic meant being extra cautious about any illness. Any time anyone in our family had COVID symptoms the kids needed to stay home from school unto COVID was ruled out. We had a lot of colds at the start of the school year so the kids missed a lot of school. The good news is all the COVID tests were negative, and I had lots of opportunities to work on my control freak tendencies. Along with all the colds we also had beautiful weather and great garden hauls, so I can’t complain.
OCTOBER
In October Alex renovated our kitchen! Well, it was really more of a face lift. We didn’t have to knock down any walls or do other construction, but every single surface got a new look, flooring, counter tops, cabinets, and walls. It has been so fun to have a room I spend a lot of time in be so pleasant to look at!
NOVEMBER
I mentioned that over the summer I was able to take a mental break from worrying about COVID. November was when I started worry again. One reason for that was we found out I was pregnant! We had been hoping to welcome another baby, but being pregnant does put me a greater risk for developing severe disease. The other reason I started worrying again was that cases were surging in Minnesota and our hospitals were filling up. We were once again keeping things close to home. I feel really grateful that home is a place I enjoy so much.
DECEMBER
We made it! In-person learning for the entire semester! I am so proud of our school and for all the hard work that went into making that happen. The kids love school, and having the schedule gave so much stability to this crazy year. But we were ready for a break. Not having to pack lunches at night and scramble out the door in the morning feels like a vacation. Add to that family time, hot cocoa, movie nights, and a beautiful and peaceful Christmas, I can only feel gratitude.
So, how to sum up 2020? I can’t. Just typing this up leaves my brain fried and my eyes wet with tears. This year was hard. I think it’s ok to just sit with that. I do however believe that hard things make us stronger and change us for the better, so I am optimistic for the year to come. As I look to 2021 the end of Psalm 27 keeps coming to mind:
I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
Happy New Year, friends.